2236-11-21 - A Little Bit of Hope

Jacob and Cate sort a few things out and decide to try to be friends.

Date: 2236-11-21

Location: Gym / Pool

Related Scenes: None

Plot: None

Scene Number: 888

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Swimming Pool Deck 8

11/21/2016 ~ 11/21/2236


Adjacent to the gymnasium is a room containing a small swimming pool. It's not much, not deep enough for diving, but for many of the sailors it's a nice break from shipboard life. There's a row of lockers along one wall, and a cabinet holding towels.

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Jacob isn't really swimming sort. Not really something he often does. No, he's here for the hot water tubs that athletes use after working out. These can either be hot or ice water, depending on what kind of workout you happen to be doing. In Jacob's case, it's a hot one to loosen a somewhat strained muscle in his shoulder after exerting it a bit too much. These are very basic tubs. Built for one, maybe two people in it. Really, they look like overly large metal water troughs for horses, but work just as good. Just have to get over the fact that you're probably sitting in recycled hot pee. Which really, he doesn't seem all too bothered by. So long as his shoulder stops hurting.

Cate doesn't know how to swim, though it's unlikely that particular fact ever came up in conversations with Sean. In truth, she was a little surprised when her hunt for him was steered towards the pool area by someone who saw him come in here. She squints at the empty pool, though, perplexed. She wanders over into the changing area, thinking maybe he's back there, but then spies him in the tub thing. Thinking it's a bathtub, she immediately stops short with an awkward, "Oh, shit... sorry."

Jacob had his head tilted back against the padded headrest with his eyes closed. An idle roll of the shoulder follows, as if testing that sensation out. A grunt when apparently it has not loosened up nearly as much as he would've liked. It's only the sound of Cate's voice that makes him pause. "I'm not naked." he grunts, before adding. "Nothing you haven't already seen."

"Oh," Cate says, rubbing her neck a little at the truth of the last comment. "Guess I always thought people took their clothes off in those things. She sees that shoulder roll, though, and it distracts her from the original reason for being here. "Hurt your shoulder?

"You can, but there's no point. Boxers work just as good." Jacob comments, leaning his head forward to get a look at her, then following her eyes to his shoulder, which makes him shrug. The other shoulder. "Yeah. Wrestling with that Cylon a couple days ago. Probably pulled something. Nothing horrible, just annoying." Explanation given, he seems a little confused on why exactly she came looking for him. Because why else would she be here? "You know, pictures last longer." the man quips, leaning his head back. "Something on your mind?"

Cate nods, but refrains from advising him to get it checked out. She figures he knows. His quip gets a confused squint. "Pictures? What?" And then the last question, "I wanted to talk to you." But having said that, she doesn't immediately venture into why.

Raising a hand out of the water, Jacob whistles while sweeping that hand over his head. "I was being an ass, never mind." That hand is run though his hand, then gesturing at her. "Alright. I'm not going anywhere for a bit, so you have a captive audience."

The confused expression lingers, but Cate shakes it off and nods. Part of her was hoping he would've said now wasn't a good time. But he didn't, and she's not one to chicken out, so... she comes over and sits down on one of the changing benches close to the tub. Leaning forward, hands on knees, she watches him for a long moment. It's not the first time she's seen him without his shirt since arriving here, between the boxing match and the occasional passing each other in the berthings. But that's a view that never gets old, even if it's also a not-entirely-pleasant reminder of better times. "What you said, the other day..." she begins hesitantly.

Oh, it's a serious matter. Well, Jacob was trying to not be so damn depressing like he normally. It was an attempt at least. But instead of making another joke, he decides it better to shut up and let her talk. Though the topic at hand seems to unnerve him slightly. "Look, I'm sorry if what I said was out of turn. Didn't mean to make things more...awkward than they already are." he says after a moment. "Didn't mean to...I dunno."

Cate shrugs a little, her expression uncertain. She's silent for a bit. Despite having thought about what she was going to say before coming down here, the words now are all jumbled in her head. "You know, after you left... I had a lot of time to think about what happened," she says quietly, staring at his arm instead of his eyes. "It kept me up at nights, but I just... I could never make sense of it. How could someone lie so well, for so long?" A pained look starts to creep across her face. "But if it wasn't a lie... if they really cared... how could they do that?"

"Because I knew what the alternatives were." Jacob’s almost hesitant in his tone, to tread down the same path that's lead them to multiple arguments previously, that usually left one walking out on the other, both angry and hurt. "A bunch of shitty results, and I chose the one that I thought sucked the least. There no good options. I thought, at the time, that it was the best solution to list to a list of bad turnouts. Like I've told you before, you being alive and free is what mattered to me. To me, well, I thought you were going to hate me no matter what. Might as well hate me but not have yourself put under a microscope."

"But, how could I do that. That's not answer I can give, I've already said that. Because I don't have any justification for it. I didn't mean for things to go the way they did. But they did, and I don't regret it. I regret hurting you, but I don't regret meeting you."

Cate listens, her head bobbing a tiny bit. "I know. You've explained. I was getting to that..." For once, she doesn't sound angry about it. Although the mention that he doesn't regret meeting her does draw her eyes back up to his, a sad vulnerability there. "The thing is... even as angry as I was... as gutted as I was... there was still this little part of me that clung to a shred of hope. That it wasn't all bullshit. That there was a reason." Her eyes are damp, but no tears fall. They're audible in her voice though. "That little part is why I could never use what I knew to help them track you down." She swallows, and wrings her hands a little before admitting softly. "That little part never stopped loving you."

There's not a lot that Jacob can say, but seeing her like this guts him. A hand rubs at his face. "So what are you saying, Cate? That...you understand why I did the things I did? I mean, if you weren't who you were. If you hadn't been involved, I would've told you. I think I would've. If you had been some random doctor who had no ties to anything..." But she wasn't. She ended up being the rebel leader's niece. "And there wasn't a day that I didn't want to. And every time I really thought about it, I thought about the fallout. I'd likely be dead and you in jail. Or both in jail. Or both dead. I went over it so many times in my head, tried to find some kind of way out. And I never saw one."

"You asked why did I buy that ring brochure if it was all a lie. Fact is, there were a couple days where I was going to tell you everything. I was going to beg you to run away with me Picon, get lost on some small island. But then I thought about if that was any way for either of us live. Both of us on the run from two different groups of people, always having to look over our shoulders. And I couldn't do that to you. And I didn't think you’d do it anyways. I just...never threw away the brochure." He sighs. "I'm just sorry. I will always be sorry and word just seems so...damn ineffectual at this point."

There's an almost-imperceptible nod. "I don't approve of all the choices you made. But... I get why you felt like you were between a rock and a hard place. I want to believe that Jack wouldn't have hurt you if you'd joined us but..." And this pains Cate to admit, clearly. "I don't know. Maybe you're right. Maybe he would've shot you on the spot." She looks up towards the ceiling, chewing her lip in a way that suggests she's still struggling to hold back those tears, especially when he explains the brochure. "And I kept telling myself that I would've picked you, run away with you, if you'd asked. If you'd given me the chance. But... that's me now. Three years ago..." She shakes her head a little, and admits. "I don't know."

"I didn't because I believed you were too...true to your cause. And you might not believe it, but I believe in your cause. And that's me now, three years later. Back then, I didn't know what to believe. But, I also can't really think about Hibernia now. Not when I've seen other planets burning. Puts things in perspective. And the other reason? I didn't want to have to hear that you wouldn't. I was...too afraid to ask you." Jacob explains after a long moment of silence. Which only just turns into another. "So. Where do we go from here?"

Cate offers another sad nod when he mentions planets burning. "That's the only reason I'm here, and not there. Once I got off Picon..." She lets that thought trail off, and is quiet until his last question. "I don't know," she says with a helpless headshake. "Because that little part is still there, but... I don't know how to deal with it." She looks almost lost there. "You're the first -" a little scoff. "- hell, the only - guy who's ever treated me decently. The one I loved, the one who took care of me when I was in a really bad place, who protected me from the coileachs. But all that still doesn't erase the hurt, the betrayal. Understanding the reasons... it's like... it's like stitches on a wound, but the wound's still there." Trust the doctor to fall back to a medical analogy.

"Well, I always figured it would take sentient robots wanting to wipe out all human life to make you change your priorities when it came to Hibernia. That if anything was going to do it, it'd be that. I should've played the lotto." Jacobs replies. "I...don't know...shit, this is hard. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells right now. With you. Constantly. That I'm going to say something that's just going to hurt. So I say nothing. Thought maybe if I was an asshole enough, you'd just stop bothering. Funny thing, it's hard to be that around you." Everything he did for her, just gets a half-shrug. "You were the only thing I had left. Still are. Last string to life that's more or less dead. I mean that with any connection to home. I can't ever go back, Cate. The only thing keeping me alive is you not saying anything and the fact that everyone is so distracted with Cylons. Though, you'll excuse me if I've thought long and hard about when the military on Hibernia both get a dose of reality when the Basestars eventually set their sets on mineral resources there. And they will, eventually. We both know that." He waves a hand at that. "Doesn't matter til it matters, I guess. I guess, right now, I just don't know what you want me to be."

Cate snorts a little, a half-hearted chuckle in response to his joke. She lets the comment about Hibernia pass. She considers his question. "It's awkward. We can't snap our fingers and make it not. Maybe sometimes we'll say something that stings, but..." A little shrug. "We've survived worse." There's a few beats of silence, and she venture, tentatively. "Maybe we can just try... being friends. See how that goes."

It would be lie to say that Jacob doesn't hold a particular amount of bitterness towards both the Virgon military and the Hibernia rebellion. Not to say he wants to them all get wiped out. On the other hand...he wouldn't mind seeing them get their world get absolutely rocked when the Cylons roll in. Independence isn't so important when you're facing that doesn't care about your moon, your people, or your life. So yeah, there's a heavy degree of scheudenfrude going on there. He's sorta justified on that one, especially since it took her away form him. But the whole 'being friends' thing, he considers that. "It was hard enough getting you in bed the first time. I can't imagine how hard it's going to be now. Talk about starting behind the eight ball."

It's probably for the best that they didn't get into a debate about Hibernia. One mountain at a time. His response, though, actually gets a chuckle out of her. "You are such a guy. I suggest being friends, and you immediately think about getting me into bed." She scoffs. "Good luck with that." But there is a faint smile when she says that, so... progress? Maybe? "Take care of that shoulder," she says, getting up to go.


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