Jonas checks on Lyn after getting his sister settled in, and more truths come out about why she left.
Location: Beach Cottage -- Scorpia
Related Scenes: None
Scene Number: 1075
It's 3AM. The beaches have quieted to a low murmur and even the bars are starting to wind down. It's a clear night and the stars can be seen easily overhead. There is plenty of light to see by, and one little porch light is still on amid the beach cottages. The one for Lyn's. The warm yellow glow reaches down to the beach itself, where a figure sits, high heels off and in the sand behind her, feet just touching the highest point of where the waves roll up, to wet her toes.
The Ghost is alone, still in the dress she wore to the Igloo, and it looks like she's been out here, likely since she left the bar, communing with the waves, or something. Her knees are drawn up, her arms wrapped around them, and dark streaks mar her cheeks from where tears battered the strong line of her eye makeup.
After taking Leonie to the Vanguard to get her situated, Jonas was just going to turn in. But.. sometimes the heart is the last thing to get the memo that it's time to move on. So back to the planet he went. It doesn't take him long to return to the beach cottage that Lyn claimed for herself. He pauses at the door. It's 3AM. Why is he here?
Because you still care, and she's still your friend.
He starts to knock, but then a gust of wind brings his attention to her familiar scent, and he glances to see her sitting in the sand and he makes his way to where she sits. Kicking off his own shoes, he moves to take a seat next to her. "Hey." he greets quietly, a side glance to her, not looking her best - but that's never been his concern.
Lyn seems to be so deep in herself that it takes her a bit to realize someone is there. She blinks a few times and looks over at Jonas, before scrubbing a hand across her eyes to try and clear them of tears. Too late, they already dried. "Hey," she croaks back. She glances around and gets the drift that it's stupid late. "What time is it?" she asks. The arms go back around her knees, compacting herself as if she could squeeze her form into oblivion,
"Dunno. Stopped paying attention. First time seeing him?" Jonas asks. Since the fall that is. His hand falls to his pocket. "I brought you something. Figured you'd want it." he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small folded photo. It's a picture of a group of Marines. Mainly two Marines, male and female, with another male behind them. To anyone else, that's all it is - three Marines on winter training. To Jonas and Lyn? Its a picture of them together with her dad behind them. "You can put it in the bar.. or whatever. I kept it because..." he can't really think of a reason that isn't the truth, so he stays quiet.
Lyn looks over at the offered photo, and her fingers move to touch, but not take it from him. "His picture was there," she says softly. "From when he was yelling at us to move our butts on that SAR right before..." She closes her mouth, jaw clenching. Right before he left for the conference in Heim. She takes in a breath and lets it out shakily, removing her hand from the photo and looking back out at the waves. "It was my fault."
"His death? No it's not, Lyn. He was going to that conference anyway." Jonas points out. "Even if you had volunteered to go, all that would have happened is that you would have died as well. Live for him, Lyn. It's all he ever really wanted for you. To live and be happy." he sighs. "In that, I failed."
"I was supposed to go to the conference in Heim, not Dad." Lyn drops that bomb like a nuke. It wasn't something they talked about. "He wanted me to go, because they had some sort of program to evaluate enlisted to become commissioned officers. He wanted me to get promoted, to eventually take his place as commander of AST, so he could retire."
She clenches her fist together tightly, until her knuckles are white and her veins a roadmap on the backs of her hands. "He was supposed to stay and go on that SAR. But I was a frakking brat and I didn't want to spend a week away from you, and we argued and he gave in and..." She starts crying fresh. "It would have been me, and he would be alive, and maybe he'd have shoved the Cylons back off the planet and you'd still have a home."
The hand that comes across Lyn's face is not soft. It's a sharp slap of reality. "Do you really think that?" Jonas turns to face her, sitting on his knees to face her, his hands grabbing her shoulders roughly. "He went to that conference because he wanted you to have that extra time, because of that gods damned ring. I had asked his permission to marry you, and he was using that week to give me some time to figure out how to ask you when he got back." he sighs, lowering his head.
"If you'd gone, you'd be dead, and so would I, because I would have had no reason to leave Aquaria. I already thought I had lost everything else when you gave me something I thought I had to go on for, but then you..." saved his life.
She doesn't resist the turning of her face or the gripping of her shoulders. She feels fragile, despite the form, like he could touch her with a fingertip and knock her over. "Then I paid Reese to knock you out and get you on that bird. I needed you to survive. I needed you to live, Jonas, so that it wasn't all for nothing. I didn't think I'd be coming back from that recon. Deep down I knew it was hopeless. And when they picked me up, they saw it, in my eyes. I failed my FFD." The Fit for Duty evaluation.
"The reason I didn't contact you right away was because I was in lock up for treatment. For 6 weeks." Her voice is strained, and the tears won't stop leaking from her eyes, which look dulled, like someone who has given up. It's been two years since she faced all of this, and seeing her father's photo forced her to acknowledge it. "I talked to my brother after. He said you were so angry. And I just couldn't face you."
"So you just kept running." Jonas says flatly. "I can't stop you from running again. But you didn't give me a choice. I had to learn to live without you. And now you have to do the same for me. Because I want you to be happy. But I know I can't make you happy anymore." he says with a sigh. His whole posture seems to sink as he lets her go.
"I saw that tonight. That you were ready to try again. I shouldn't have intercepted you. I should have let you find your way to the floor." he says with a quiet stare at his hands. "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough." And with that, he's starting to push away.
"You're an idiot," Lyn says dully. "I wasn't trying again. I don't want to try again. You were the one, Jonas. I had my shot at happiness and I blew it, and I'm paying the price for it now." She stares at her hands, as if they're to blame for all her mistakes. "You keep saying that you can't make me happy anymore, and you weren't good enough, but you haven't actually tried either. And I don't blame you for that, because if the positions were reversed I'd hate me too."
She stands and awkwardly hunts for her shoes in the sand. " I just keep running because I don't want to frak up your life, because I can't move on, and I am afraid I'll do something to mess up what you have now, embarrass you, make you hate me more. I'm trying to stop hurting you, but everything I do seems to be a slap in the face to you. And all you want to do is to get me to move on, but you never considered that I don't want to. I'd rather be alone with my memories that spend my lifetime with someone who will only ever be a footnote in my story, because they aren't you!"
She finally locates the shoes and starts up the sand towards her cottage.
And just like that, she's fleeing again. Not that he wasn't about to do the same. The small, selfish part of him, that still pines for her urges him to stop her - to try to reignite a flame that's long burned out. Then Jonas stops himself. Because as much as he wants, he knows it'd only end in pain. Because they've been here before. And there's nothing to stop her from running. Again. And again.
So one again she's running. And instead of chasing her, it might as well have been Reese hitting him in the back of the head again, as he turns to head in the other direction, because there's nothing else he can do about it.