Jonas has his first meeting with Kamran. It doesn't go all that great.
Location: Medical Wing, Vanguard
Related Scenes: None
Scene Number: 1091
Kamran has started sending out letters to people with whom he would like to meet. There's a rumor that he's planning to meet with everyone on the ship eventually, but there's another rumor that he's only meeting with people who brass views with suspicion. Whatever the case, he's occupying a small room near sick bay that's been cleared out for his meetings with whoever has been willing to stop by.
And it's suspicious that the Aquarians seem to be getting the letters first. Jonas' knock comes to the door, followed by the loud snapping of gum as he pops a bubble in his mouth and sucks the pink confection back into his mouth to chew on. "Wanted to see me, Doctor?" he asks, a lift of his brow, dressed in his shipboard duty uniform of blue camoflauge.
Kamran looks up from a clipboard and smiles. "You're Jonas Ingvar, isn't that right?" he asks. "I'm Kamran Anders." He gestures to a chair. "Have a seat if you'd like. Frankly, I thought I recognized your name from my time on Aquaria. Do I?"
"Dunno, do you?" Jonas shrugs his shoulders as he goes to take a seat, tucking his gum against his jaw to casually chew on as he settles into the chair, his frame tall and lanky as he settles in. "This about the Fall? Cause I made my peace with that a while back. Pissed me off, but we're going to take it back someday, pretty sure - once folks get tired of all these warm weather worlds."
"I think I do," Kamran says, leaving it at that. He has good posture. He looks up from the clipboard to offer eye contact. "I thought we could talk about it if you wanted to, because it was such a terrible thing. But it sounds like you don't feel the need to talk about it. You say you've made peace. How did you go about doing that?"
"Easy. Take it out on the canners, wait for the Colonial Fleet to make it's move, and when it's my turn in the breech, get to it." Jonas offers, as he leans back and blows a bubble and pops it again. "Hey, was said you had some of those flavored suckers from Aquaria in your stash. I get one for visiting, right?" he asks casually. "So what's the story, getting a feel for a possible return to Aquaria? If so, count me in."
Kamran smiles at the request Jonas makes. "You like sweets," he concludes from the gum and this. "So do I. I'll see what I can do, but if anyone asks, you didn't get it from me." He shrugs at the next question. "Obviously if I know anything that isn't common knowledge, I can't confirm or deny it. But you'd be eager for a chance to return? Is that because it's your home?"
"Wouldn't you want to take back your home?" Jonas asks. "They sucker punched us, destroyed Heim, and rolled us up before we could get any support outside of Libran. Libran's nice and all, but it ain't Aquaria, you know." he shrugs a little. "But we are heading to Picon, and I want to learn what it's like, maybe consider settling down there someday, for a change of pace."
"So you're making plans for what you'll do when the war ends?" Kamran asks, with a gentle encouraging smile, taking no apparent umbrage at the unfavorable comparison between Libran and Aquaria.
Jonas gives a wry shrug of his shoulders. "Hey, hopes and dreams, right? I mean, what are you going to be doing after the war, Doctor? You're going to have plenty of business, I'm sure." he smirks a little. "Wouldn't want you to worry about a lack of.. patience."
Kamran lifts his eyebrows, still smiling faintly. "Do you mean patients or patience?" he asks in a mild tone. "I think it's good to have plans and hopes. If you don't believe in planning for the future, that can be a problem. But it sounds to me like you're coping pretty well. With the Fall, with the war." A brief pause. "Is that how /you/ feel?"
"Shit, doc, I'm just doing what I need to do to get through and see everything on the other side." Jonas replies. "They stuck a silver cluster on my chest for helping out, never will understand that. Damned mission was frakked up from the start. But you get through that, you can get through anything, I imagine."
"Does that bother you?" Kamran asks, glancing up. "The silver cluster?"
"Rather have gotten a bottle of whiskey." Jonas admits as he leans back in the chair a little, settling his hands in his lap. "Look, I wrote up Rhodes and Hayes for the DMM, they opted for the cluster. They earned it. Especially Rhodes. She's a medic, but she went way beyond her responsibility. And Hayes is recon, putting her in a firefight like that and me asking her to help pull people out? That was worth it too. Me? I just did what I was supposed to as a Marine rifleman."
"Rhodes," Kamran repeats, flipping back a couple pages on the clipboard. "Is that Cate Rhodes?" he wants to know. But he moves on. "Well, in the military, sometimes doing what you are supposed to do it the greatest virtue. And sometimes it is difficult. Don't you think?"
"Ain't paid to think, Doctor, that's what officers are for." Jonas replies wryly and gives a nod. "Yep. Cate Rhodes. You tell her I wrote up the recommendation, I'll deny it to the day I die, though. She don't need to know I did that."
"I won't tell her that," Kamran promises. "But may I ask why you don't want her to know? Don't you think she'd be grateful?"
"Marines don't want other Marines bragging on each other. We're not in this for the glory, we're in it to save some lives, free our planets, and remind those frakking Cans who made who." Jonas replies, popping his gum loudly at the end as it's own exclamation point.
Kamran nods at that response. "You think all Marines feel the same way?" he asks.
"Ain't met a glory or medal hound yet, Doctor. Probably ended up dead by now." Jonas gives another shrug of his shoulders. "What about you? Going to write a book when this all over, talk about how frakked up we all are?"
"I don't plan to," Kamran replies. "People won't stop needing help once the war ends. Isn't that what you said earlier? It's true."
"True enough, doc." Jonas finishes chewing his gum and reaches for the tissues on the desk, not to wipe his eyes, but to spit his gum into, tossing the small packet in the trash can. "Now maybe someday, when we're drinking in a club, and this shit's done, I'll nudge Rhodes at some reunion and go, 'remember that time we were frakking pinned down in that prison and I ended up dragging my ex out by her shoulder straps? That was some frakked up shit, wasn't it?'."
"Dragging her out?" Kamran repeats. "Did you save your ex's life?"
"Doubt that, Hayes could have grabbed her just the same, but when Arda went down, I was on my way to grab another Marine, Hayes decided to take him, since I was closer to Arda." Jonas says with a shrug, "She wasn't the first person I dragged behind cover after going down. Tried it with the Staff Sergeant and Abigail.." he uses her first name, "..damn Sergeant died though."
"Was this recently?" Kamran asks, "Or before? It sounds like a very bad situation with so many people in danger."
"Battle down on Canceron to rescue some POWs. Scaled a cliff, ended up in a courtyard, it went to shit there. Noone knew that they had rocket launchers and heavy weaponry. Miracle that Hayes got in there in time with a couple of others to rescue the prisoners before they were gunned down. The Staff, Rhodes, Walker and I were the holding force at the rally point." Jonas explains. "They started hitting us with rockets - the Sergeant and Courteois went down. Cort.. he was hit hard enough that he stopped fighting. Just sat there. Then Walker went down."
"Why do you think you were able to hold it together well enough to be able to be responsible for your fellow soldiers?" Kamran wants to know next, leaning forward slightly.
"Training, next man up, Doctor. It's what you do." Jonas shrugs again at that. "It's what we do. Walker was next man up with the Sergeant went down.. damn.. I wrote a letter to his parents and I can't even remember his name at the moment.." he admits, wringing his hands slightly. "...when Walker went down, it went to me next."
Kamran nods gently. "It must have been hard to lose a man that way when you weren't fully prepared for everything that would happen on the battlefield," he says. "But, you know, it's not uncommon to forget things for a while afterwards."
"Look. Shit happens. People die. We fill in the ranks and keep going. They keep building cans, we keep bringing soldiers. Cycle of war." Jonas glances down at his hands. "I'm fine. We're all fine. Anyway. That all you wanted to know?" he asks, knowing full well that someday, when he's not expecting it, those memories are come back and sucker punch him.
"If I ever knew all I wanted to know, I don't think I'd have this job," Kamran replies with a smile. "But I hope that if in the future you ever suspect that you are not...entirely fine, that you'll come back to talk to me. Would you consider that?"
"You send an order, I have to come." Jonas offers. Which is his way of saying, volunteering for this is not an option on the table at the moment. "Sure you have some heads much more screwed up than mine to put in the juicer and figure out what's up with." he shrugs and moves to his feet. "Thanks for the chatter, but us Aquarians? We can handle it."
Kamran nods at Jonas. "I hope you won't look down on the people who get something out of seeing me," he says. "Talking to me doesn't mean they aren't handling it." Is that a subtle message really meant for Jonas, or no more than what it seems on face value?
"I know not everyone can't handle it, Doctor. And you have a good service. I ain't gonna hold it against anyone. Just that I ain't ready for it yet." Whether or not Jonas has the demons handled, or just isn't ready to face them? That's not answered as he turns to head out the door, reaching into a side pocket for his packet of foil that holds his gum.
Kamran nods at Jonas. "Be well, all right?" he bids him by means of a farewell, lifting a hand to wave.
"Right as the snow outside, Doctor." Jonas offers, and is out the door and into the hall beyond on a retreat.