2237-07-02 - This New Grief

Abigail grieves her loss.

Date: 2237-07-02

Location: Berthings, //Vanguard//

Related Scenes: None

Plot: None

Scene Number: 1186

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Abigail has a mission. Abigail is being sent back down to the planet, bandages and aches and pains and all. And it doesn't matter that she has things more dire than the things covered by bandages to worry on and grieve. She's just gotten the after action report from the communications mission to Havison. She's read it, sitting still as a stone in her bunk, a dozen, two dozen times. It still seems impossible to believe.

To know so acutely something was wrong was not that difficult, or beyond, Addison. He could feel as much as tell that something was amiss with his sister, and thus he went searching for her in her bunk. In his hands carried a plate, loaded as high as he could steal with rice crispie treats. A small token but one that was a favorite as he approaches, hesitates but doesn't do so for long before sliding into the bunk where she is at. Silent.

Abigail, for her part, must have known...and how could she not have, that her twin would sense her pain, would come to find her, and when Addison arrives, she's already scooted over on the bunk to make room for him. She looks up, studying his face, intently, as if searching for something there, before her eyes fall to the plate. She exchanges that for the report, though she doesn't pick one up to eat.

His eyes scan over the report, reading quickly, touching a few words here and there before he sets it aside and reaches out to take her hand into his, squeezing. "I'm sorry." Addison says the words softly, truly as her hand is held and stroked with his thumb.

Abigail sets the plate aside, pushing them out of harm's way, as Addison takes her hand and her eyes fall to that bit of comfort, "I had only just met him, found him. We were just getting to know each other." She shakes her head, "You know I told him once that it was all a terrible idea? But that I didn't care that it was?"

Addison listens, nods his head a bit and gives Abby's hand another squeeze. "It is the nature of war." He says at last, quietly as if somehow that will add justification and understanding, even if it may not. His eyes look sad, for she is sad and it carries to him as well.

Abigail nods, her free hand reaching out to find Addison's other, her eyes settling on his chest, "He told me that he loved me. I told him that I did. I...hope that I did, I don't know...what that feels like, not...the way he seemed to...he was so sure...but I know what I felt was true...I hope that it was enough. I don't know how to...his sister is on board."

"That is for their family to deal with in a way." Addison says softly, biting his lip after a moment and rubbing Abby's second hand. He knows what she means, understands, and it shows in his eyes. "It was love. There are many different kinds of love, Abbybear. None more or less than others, just different, yeah?"

"I know...I know this is for them, but...I keep thinking...am I supposed to be there too? Is it my job to help make things easier for her? Pack his things, gather all the things I know he left around the ship? Or is that an invasion of her privacy? Is that me trying to steal her grief? I can't...I don't know what to do. When I found out about you, when I thought I might have lost you...I knew in my heart it wasn't true. But she..." Abigail is clearly at a loss. How do you know what to do...what the right thing is?

Addison shakes his head slowly, also at a loss as he looks at Abigail. "I do not know dearest. This is a completely new territory for me as well. I do not know of how to walk this road... perhaps; what would you desire if the situation was reversed? How would you feel as the sister?"

Abigail considers, her eyes falling, blinking away the wetness that keeps threatening to steal her vision, "If it were me...I wouldn't care. If I lost you...nothing else in the world would matter. The world could burn around me, and I wouldn't care." A moment, a long moment to breathe. "If it were Jamison?" Such a terrible thing to say, to admit, that you value one brother more than the other, "I would want to grieve, to be free to do it, to not have to worry. But...perhaps I would want to know that he had been loved by more than me. Especially if I didn't know if he and I were the last of the family or not."

"Then maybe that is your answer? To simply let her know that you are supportive, that you are there. That you are grieving as well. This gives space for her to take her time, but also another if it is needed? You have me, she may not have another." Addison offers softly, not lingering on the other of their siblings that; although loved, are not the same as what they share.

Abigail nods, hands tightening on Addison's, tugging him closer, the blinking no longer working as well as it has been. "I will talk to her, when I see her, and...I'll try to collect his things. She doesn't know all of his hiding places." If Addison allows, Abigail will slide in against his chest, turn her face, and finally allow the tears to fall.

Of course he would allow, letting her take the path she needs to start her healing process and serving as the kleenex and pillow needed for the shedding of tears. His hand reaches up to soothe back her blonde hair in a gentle manner while whispering soft words of encouragement and comfort as they come to him. Addison's had to tread this path of loss but not with time to grieve truly, only time to bury.

And Abigail, new to this grief, even after so many years of service...has only her tears, and her pain, and the ache of the loss of a man she had only just begun to love.


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