2237-09-21 - There Is No Emotion, There Is Peace

Unlike things with Hawk, Isolde tries to guide Astraea towards embracing her emotions. There's a lot of girl talk.

Date: 2237-09-21

Location: Laundry

Related Scenes: None

Plot: None

Scene Number: 538

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Back on the Dauntless and about to ship out to Sagittaron. Another colony that Astraea has only heard about and never seen; so many fit that category for the Raptor pilot. For many of them, really. Thankfully, they'll be back to the war proper and away from training scenarios and barely contained resentment from the Caprican navy. There's a sense of relief for many of the Timber Wolves and the Colonial forces on the ship as a whole. Tensions had only barely eased in the wake of the attack as many had doubled down on their sense of pride.

Nova stands before a table, pressing her duty uniform while a dryer rumbles along behind her with the rest of her laundry. A few other machines run, but their owners are not present. For the moment, she's alone and taking advantage by singing quietly to herself.

Isolde comes bouncing in with her usual chipper presence, bearing both hers and Van's laundry in a bulging bag. She has tightened it as best she could over the sheer mass of clothes she bears, but it does look one wrong move from exploding at the seams. She spots Astraea soon after she pops in, and starts toward the Raptor pilot with a dimpling smile. "Hi Nova," she announces, finally dropping her heavy bag. She had heard some of the singing, tilting her head a bit. "Scorpian song?"

<FS3> Astraea rolls Singing: Good Success (7 6 6 4 3 3 1)

At the greeting, Astraea does stop singing. At the least, she wasn't bad. In fact, it was pretty decent! Even so, some people just aren't fans of having people sing in the limited, cramped spaces of ship life. There's a small smile for the other woman and the Raptor pilot gives a small nod. "Aye," she affirms as she works on getting the creases in the legs of her slacks just-so. "One of th' ones I liked growin' up." She shifts the fabric a bit before working it over again. There's a glance towards the bag Isolde hauls along with her. "He ever help wit' th' laundry, or is that part of married life even in th' navy? Doin' all th' laundry?"

"Sounds pretty," the Tauron admits with a widening smile. Then she glances at the bag of laundry, and it draws a faint laugh that includes a small crinkle of her nose. "No... I mean, it's my week. We share. Van did all the laundry last week." She starts to unknot the bag, pulling it open so she can take the first half of the clothes out. They are sorted by lights and darks, but that seems to be as far as the color dividing has gone. She dumps the dark clothes in one washer and the light sin another. "See, funny thing... I'm pretty sure that Van didn't even do his own laundry before he joined the Navy."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Astraea admits, when Isolde says this of Van. "He'n Hawk were tryin' t'explain estates t'me last time we were on Scorpia. I still don't understand why someone would live on that much land, y'know. Seems kinda pointless. An' a waste of space." She shakes her head slightly, turning back to her work with a sigh. "Least I've figured out a use for Hawk's stuffiness, even if I don't think I'll ever get him to understand how important property is for some folks."

"That's been weird... Van's family is very... um... prominent? Is that the right word?" Isolde then dumps in her detergent, starts up the washers, and turns to face Nova. She crosses her arms at her chest as she does, slumped back into the filling washer. "Well, it definitely isn't a Tauron way." Her lips thin. "I suppose we will one day have to talk about that... what life's going to be like later, when this whole Cylon thing is over." She then arches up her brows. "Yeah? Whatcha using his stuffiness for?"

"Ya oughta make him take up the Tauran way," Astraea offers to Isolde with a flash of a grin. "S'what I'd do. I dunno if I could go into... whatever th' other is like. They described all these big houses an' open fields an' it just sounds so- strange to me." She gets her slacks done and tucks them into a waiting hangar before moving on to the jacket. "I'd jes' wanna sell off th' land to people that need it, y'know? For businesses or homes an' all. Put it to use instead of seein' it jes' go to waste like that." At Isolde's question, she looks back over. "Well, he knows... how to, y'know... shut out all his emotions. I wanna be able to do that." Pause, purse of lips. "No, I sorta need to be able to do that."

Isolde snorts. "I couldn't get him to take my name beyond a hyphen... I doubt I'm gonna turn him full-blooded Tauron." She flashes Astraea a small smile then before she starts to tug at her dark hair, fussing with it between her long, fingers. The mention of Emrys and his emotional wall draws a small snort from her again, and she shakes her head. "Nah... you're Nova. You're emotions need to be bright and fierce." Beat pause. "Why? Did something happen?"

"They're... too much, Pi," Astraea says, when Isolde speaks of her emotions. She shakes her head slightly. "They're frakkin' me up an' I'm afraid it's gonna frak me up in combat an' that could get me or someone else killed." She looks back to her duty jacket. "No, not just that. It's more. It's... miserable some days, y'know?" She sighs, fussing at the cuff on one of the sleeves to get it just-so. "It's Razor. Still. We've been workin' together a lot. Not just flyin' together, but like... on Caprica we were studyin' reports an' footage from Edson, 'cause we sorta... expected an attack." She swallows, plucking at a loose thread. "I hate it sometimes."

Isolde frowns. So many miserable people lately. She has to wonder if there's something wrong with her, to not feel so miserable all the time. She nods though, rubbing at her arm as she does. "Razor?" She frowns deeper at the mention of Kell. "What's Razor been doing?" There's concern there for perhaps both parties. "Is... is he being really, um, stiff about things?"

"No," Astraea says, frowning a bit. "I mean... no more than usual. He still won't, y'know, take any time off. He wouldn't use any of th' weekend or anythin' we had to leave th' base. If anythin'..." She sets aside the steamer and turns, looking to Isolde. There's a sort of pleading look to her; pained, really. "He smiles a lot, ow. At least 'round me, I guess. An', frak', Pi. It's almost like a punch to th' gut sometimes. I- I dunno what to do. It ain't like he even notices I'm there other'n some... I'm just interchangeable, really. Could be any other pilot in th' squadron for all he cares."

"He should talk to Van," Isolde mutters loud enough for Astraea to hear. She glances up at the woman now before she pushes off the washer, sauntering forward so she can gently touch her forearm. "Maybe... you should tell him about all things? Good chance he has no idea, because if he's anything like Van, he's very dense." She tries to smile encouragingly, but it has her a bit uncertain, too. "I mean... you like him, right?"

There's that pained look again, when Isolde is close. Astraea doesn't push her away, though. Close-quarters living, you get used to people being in your physical bubble. Same goes for growing up in the part of Scorpia she did. "Of frakkin' course I like him. I've sat through hours of guncam footage just to be in the same room as him. Y'know how mind-numbin' that gets?" She does, at least, manage a small smile. "But I- I frakked it up when I tried kissin' him that time. I mean, if a guy manages, while drunk, to push you away, that's a pretty big sign he ain't interested, yeah?'

"Oh yeah... definitely mind-numbing. I make Van do it and I just look over his notes." True love, that is. Then she offers a small sigh at the reminder of what happened between Astraea and Kell before Caprica. She rubs at her elbow, frowning as she does. "Yeah... I don't think he's gonna break that anytime soon... Razor... I don't think that's why he's here." Beat pause. "Not that any of us signed up in hopes of finding our soulmate or anything."

"Well, no, we didn't. An' it ain't like I'm thinkin'... soulmate." Astraea even makes a bit of a face at the word. "I jus'... I was goin' over my footage th' other day b'fore we shipped out an' he came in an' we were talkin' an' he grinned at me at one point an' I just..." She looks awkward, talking about it. She struggles to find the words. "No one's made me feel like that b'fore, Izzy. An' it's hard havin' him in th' bunk over mine an' flyin' wit' me an' workin' wit' me an'-" She gives a small shrug. "I need to shut it all out b'fore it drives me insane."

"Everyone's so afraid to find their one true love on the ship," Isolde says dryly, though she sounds amused too. "Or second true love. Whatever the case may be." She then listens a bit more dutifully, offering an apologetic smile as Astraea speaks of her own heart. She tilts her head, twirling a bit of hair around her finger as she does. "Can I ask... does he know all this? Or does he just know that you tried to kiss himw hile he was drunk?"

"Ain't... spoken of any of it since then," Astraea admits, looking down at her feet. She scuffs the toe of her boot against the deck plating a bit. "I mean, he said then that... all he cares 'bout is th' war, so I've jes' figured..." She gives a small, lifeless sort of shrug. "That if I told 'im, it'd jes' be another chance for him to shoot me down an' I'm scared that'll hurt even more."

"Well... I dunno... maybe you should prod him about it. Hard for him to know if you don't say anything. My experiences have shown that sometimes people can be pretty dense if they aren't smacked over the head." That's when, again, Isolde dimples gently to her friend. "I know that, that's scary... hell, I was pretty scared that Van and I would just keep frakking it up the whole time. We really didn't make any headway until we sat down and just had an honest, and super uncomfortable talk. And then we had sex in a Raptor... so... I mean... always a possible upside." She at least blushes slightly at this confession.

"I dunno." Astraea looks pained, biting into her lip. "Maybe." She turns back to her duty jacket, fussing at it rather than going for the steamer again. "I mean, didn't y'already know Van liked ya? I ain't got any real signs from Kell. Could all be wishful thinkin' on my part. I even... even asked him 'bout how he left his assigned zone durin' that battle over Delphi when I got knocked out. Hawk told me he broke SOP to check on my Raptor an' escort it to th' base when Weathergirl took over. So I asked him an' he had a bunch of reasons why it was, y'know, by th' book for him I guess."

"No." Isolde snorts. "I mean... I knew he would really, really enjoy rollin' around with me... but liking me? I dunno. I mean, we met by total chance on Picon before the war, and then didn't see each other again until Galactica. Honestly... I had no idea until we started exploring a bit of that side of ourselves. And it took Van forever to stop being such a hardass about some stuff. We barely made it the first few weeks because he was so fixated on the stupid regulations." Then she offers her friend a small smile. "The point is though that you aren't going to know what's what until you actually ask him about it. Maybe it isn't romantic, but... will get you your answers."

With a pair of small 'thuds,' Astraea lands her elbows on the table she's got her duty uniform on, lifting her hands to rest her face in. She lets out a long sigh. "I've got an answer. 'No.' He already told me that when I tried kissin' him that time, Izzy. I dunno if I can take hearin' it again, even if... if there's a tiny chance there might be a diff'rent answer." She scrubs her fingers against her cheeks and over her eyes. "Tha's why I wanna learn to jes' shut everythin' off until th' feelin's go away. 'Cause they gotta someday. Eventually."

Isolde peeks up toward Astraea, tilting her head slightly. She sidles toward her, and rests that four-fingered hand gently on her shoulder before giving a squeeze. She then slumps in beside her, dropping her own elbows down to the table and looking downward for a moment. "You know... maybe if you think that he doesn't have any interest, it is time to just... let him be. No point in torturing yourself over it." She frowns slightly. "Do you think you could move on from him?"

"Sometimes I think he's got none," Astraea mumbles into her hands before twisting her cheek against her palm to look towards Isolde, "But then he'll go an' do somethin' that makes me think otherwise. He acts sorta diff'rent 'round me than he does other people, so-" She gives a small, helpless sort of shrug. "I dunno. An'... I should, yeh? I should give up, but-" She looks down, dropping her hands to push herself upright again. "It ain't that easy. Could you have moved on from Van?"

"Like what?" Isolde prompts gently. "Like, what does he do when he makes you think otherwise?" She rubs a bit at her jaw, glancing toward Astraea with a sideways tilt of her gaze. Then when she brings up Van, she puffs out her cheeks a bit. "No." She hesitates. "But, Van and I have a mutual relationship... I'm not fighting to get him to tell me how he feels." She frowns a bit. "Feels like it's two different situations," she says, cautiously.

"Like... when I've been upset he's come to talk to me, make sure I'm okay. He seems to like when we work t'gether. Not just, like, flyin' t'gether, but... Stuff like when we got th' tapes an' records from Edson." Astraea turns, leaning back against the table to look towards the machines. She chews at her lower lip for a moment. "It's... yeh, it's two diff'rent situations, but I mean... givin' up on someone. It ain't like flippin' a switch or somethin'. An' it's not like... I can just walk away. I see him every day." She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "I also ain't seen or heard of him bein' as... ehm. I mean, I know I've been hit pretty hard some of our recent dogfights, yeh? But I ain't th' only one. But I'm th' only one he... y'know, gets so concerned about that I've noticed- an' I think others have, too. Hawk commented on it."

Isolde frowns slightly. "I know." She rubs slightly at her forearm, touching the tattoo that runs along the interior of her wrist. When she looks back at the Scorpian, her expression is a bit apologetic. She is quiet, listening to the constant thud and whoosh of the laundry room before she looks back to Astraea. "I could talk to him." The offer is said quietlyw tih the smallest frown tugging at her lips. "I mean, maybe he needs someone else to talk to him about it... see what he might want out of all of this. Razor's like my brother... so I can be his annoying sister about it."

"Mebbe," Astraea agrees, hesitantly. She looks over to Isolde, brow furrowing slightly. "Think he'd get mad at me if ya did ask him 'bout it?" She scuffs her toe at the floor, grinding it against the deck plating a bit. "I mean... I kinda want ya to, but I don't... want him ta end up hatin' me for it if ya do." She chews at her lip again; she's going to wear away the skin at this rate. After a moment, she lets out a long sigh. "Would be nice to know his thoughts beyond just... he ain't interested 'cause of th'war. I mean, if that's th'only reason, mebbe we can work out... somethin'."

"If he does, I'll throttle him," Isolde says with a laugh. "But no, I don't think so. I mean, I gotta look out for both of you... and if he's making himself an idiot, I should point that out to him, too." She offers a small smile then, looking a bit sheepish. "I should warn you, though... if I say something, and he didn't mean to lead you on... he might change around you, so that he doesn't keep making you hurt so much all the time. Just the cost of maybe pointing something out that someone didn't intend." She pauses. "But, if I do talk to him and he realizes he's being an idiot being vague, he might change for the better, too."

Lifting a hand to her mouth, Astraea spends a moment chewing on her thumbnail instead. "I'd miss it," she admits quietly. "Th' talks he an' I have, but..." she gives a little shrug, looking over to Isolde. "I wouldn't miss th' way it hurts, that he doesn't... really seem ta notice me or how he seems so close an' so far away at th' same time." She swallows, letting out a breath before giving a little nod. "Iff'n it wouldn't be too much trouble, then yeh... Mebbe talk to 'im. See... I dunno. What's goin' on or whatever."

"Okay." Isolde offers a small smile then, and squeezes Astraea's hand if she permits her to. "I'll make the time to talk to him... I promise." She then taps her fingers idly against the table, looking around the room with those thoughtful brown eyes. "You know... the laundry room must have a kind of air about it. Always feels like relationships get moved forward or backward here."

There's a small squeeze in return; one edged in worry and something tinged in fear. Because Isolde is right... that talk could change things by a fair margin. Astraea does laugh a bit at the remark as to the air of the laundry room. "It's because we are stuck here with nothin' else to do. Any magazines or books that get left here end up disappearin'. What to do but talk relationships, yeh?"

Isolde offers a small twitch of a smile then. "The only real thing that makes us not Cylons, I guess... the fact that we have deep love for each other." Then she nudges Astraea's hip before she pushes off to go peek at her washer to make sure all is okay.


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